Batman, butt sweat and waiting

My homie lego batman

Yesterday I went to the movies.

After waiting about 10 minutes for my friend, while chilling with my homie a “life-size” batman figurine and after posting on snapchat and insta about said homie (because inside I’m a 16 year old girl), my mind started to wander…

My first thought was that in the hot humid Auckland weather, I’d been sitting on the faux leather bench for long enough that I was 90 per cent sure I was going to leave a butt sweat mark or residue of some sort when I stood up. Yum.

I was contemplating how this could be avoided when another woman came into the empty theatre (I was 40 minutes early to meet my friend) and sat at the other end of the seat.

I glanced at her and thought “she looks nice, I wonder where she got her dress” but she was only seated for a few minutes before I realised I really didn’t like her perfume. Like, I didn’t like it to the point where I considering standing up and moving. Not sure where my aversion to deep overly floral scents comes from but I cannot stand them.

Luckily for me her friend (or her low-key Tinder date – cute!) arrived and she stood up and went towards the counters, leaving my airways in peace. Huzzah.

It was then I observed with only a slight bit of jealousy that she had not left any butt behind when she got up, despite having similarly voluptuous thighs to my own. This was down to the fact that she was wearing a maxi dress, and hadn’t exposed her thigh kiss to the seat whereas I was in a mid thigh summer dress and my thighs were making out with the seat.

I knew I should have worn leggings.

p.s. will post a review of the movie in the next few days, it was a special experience watching non-nutritional nipple sucking in a cinema full of strangers.

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